Annalise plays this 'game' with me. Every night, I say "Night, night, don't let the bed bugs night. If they do, hit them with a shoe, and I love you!" But she loves to steal the last night and say "I wub momma!" So, we go back and forth with I love Anna, and I wub momma, over and over and over. It is quite cute and she laughs and laughs. Sometimes, I throw in I love dada, or I love Katie, or I love Jack. Last night Anna said "I wub Tarik!" I thought it was neat that she is thinking of him too.
We sent a care package to Tariku yesterday. Gary and I went shopping separately, and ironically picked out matching things. I picked a cream and sage blanket, that has silky patches and really soft cotton-y patches. Gary picked out a sage baby/blanket. It is one of those things you are supposed to sleep with before giving to your baby. The parent's scent stays on it and the baby learns our scent (or mine, I hogged it all night the 3 nights we slept with it). Then we had a picture book made by Kodak Gallery. It has 10 pictures of us and the kids and then 1 each of the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins (from a recent holiday or something). He might be alittle too young to look at the pictures, but hopefully they will show him anyway. I hope the scent thing works. It would be neat if he recognized us in some way when we get there.
We had a conference call today with our agency. It was information on the trip south to Hosanna. This is the city many of the children and babies are from, or near there. We will take a day trip down there, so they wanted to go over the specifics of that. It is 4-5 hours each way, by LandRover. Though she said the paved road is almost complete, so the trip is much smoother and less dusty than it used to be. We have to bring a snack because we won't stop for food and will be using traditional Ethiopian pit-style bathrooms, which is a hole and she mentioned there is nothing to hold on to. I think I will go light on the beverages that day. I avoid using a porta-potty at all costs, and this sounds very much worse. She said we would make one stop at a hotel, where there are more modern bathrooms, but even those don't flush. I know it seems stupid and naive of me to be so surprised by this, but I just hadn't thought about not having flushing toilets. There will be much more important things to think of that day. We will (hopefully) be meeting Tariku's parents. What an emotional experience that will be. I really can't even imagine how it will feel. It will be very, very sad and alittle scary - what will they think of us? what will they ask us? But, I am happy we have the opportunity to do it.
I gotta go, need to clean up the house and get to bed. (Sorry for the abrupt end, I never was good at the endings of my papers back in school.)
I WUB TARIK!!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Additional donation information
I mentioned in our last post that Jen and I plan on bringing donations to our care center and another organization, AHOPE, which cares for HIV infected orphans. Since 2004 with ARV medications becoming available for the HIV positive children in care, their mission has changed from providing care for an expected short lifespan to providing care and education as appropriate that will allow the child to develop skills for an independent adult life. The following message was posted on our message board this morning and I thought I would pass it along. It gives a little more information about AHOPE and some of the things they are needing. Thanks for listening.
AHOPE donations
Hi Everybody (and my apologies to those that will get this more than once),
This is Erin Henderson... I have taken over as the donations/supplies coordinator for AHOPE for children, an organization that provides a nurturing home in Addis for orphaned HIV-positive children and helps to educate the community about AIDS prevention. At the moment there are about 80 children (which is up from the 60 or so kids they had last year, thanks to increases in sponsors and funding) living in AHOPE's orphanage, from infants to 14 years old. The children are now receiving antiretroviral drugs--thanks to Jane Aronson's Worldwide Orphans Foundation--and are all thriving. (For more about the organization, please see the website: www.ahopeforchildren.org)
We adopted our daughter from AHOPE in the fall of 2006 and the children at AHOPE are very much still in our minds and hearts.
Because AHOPE has a very limited budget for basic items like clothing, diapers, and toys, we depend on the generosity of individual donors for these things and on traveling adoptive parents to help deliver the donations. We realize that the adoption agencies also rely on traveling parents to transport supplies for their orphanages, and we do not wish to commandeer luggage space that the agencies depend on. But if any of you think you might still be able to squeeze some extra things in your baggage, we would be very grateful for your help.
Below is the list of items that are currently most needed.
In the past we have had people gather some things off of the list and carry them over on their adoption/volunteer trip. If you are willing/able to gather some of these supplies and are not traveling, I can put you in contact with someone traveling that is willing to carry stuff over.
And on the flip side, if you are traveling and have room, big or small, to carry over donations, but do not have time to gather them, let me know and I can put you in contact with someone with donations to send.
Every little bit helps...even a gallon-sized Ziplock bag of things would be appreciated. I have found that many dollar stores carry a lot of the medical items for $1 or less, and have heard from some families that Walgreens and other stores have been willing to donate items when asked.
Once in Addis, we can arrange for the items to be picked up from you at your hotel or you are more than welcome to deliver them yourself if you would like to visit the orphanage. You can contact me for more details.
The best way to contact me is at ahopesupplies@gmail.com
Thanks so much for your help and support.
list of needed items March 2007
Eye drops
Anti fungal for oral thrush
Benadryl for allergic reaction
De-worming agents taken orally
Oral Suspension Ibuprofen
Antiseptic and Pain reliever
Savlon Antiseptic
Benzalkonium Chloride towelette Antiseptic
Instant Hand sanitizer
Burn cream
Poison Ivy Cleanser
Povidone Iodine USP Prep Pad
Plasil drop
Infants Mylicon
Gloves
Digital thermometer
Bandage (roll)
Sterile dressing gauze (packed)
Cold compress (Hot compress).. Pack which is reusable
Cough syrups
Gas Relief
Hyopan (Hyosine Syrup)
Hyosine tablets
Cloxacillin 125 mg/5ml syrup
Cloxacillin 250 mg/5ml syrup
always needed
1. Cotton diapers
2. new/gently used kids shoes
3. kids' underwear and pj's (like sizes 6mos. to 12/14)
4. antibacterial lotion
5. rubber gloves
6. simple English books for the new library
7. balls, simple games/puzzles (that don't require language knowledge)
8. arts and crafts supplies
AHOPE donations
Hi Everybody (and my apologies to those that will get this more than once),
This is Erin Henderson... I have taken over as the donations/supplies coordinator for AHOPE for children, an organization that provides a nurturing home in Addis for orphaned HIV-positive children and helps to educate the community about AIDS prevention. At the moment there are about 80 children (which is up from the 60 or so kids they had last year, thanks to increases in sponsors and funding) living in AHOPE's orphanage, from infants to 14 years old. The children are now receiving antiretroviral drugs--thanks to Jane Aronson's Worldwide Orphans Foundation--and are all thriving. (For more about the organization, please see the website: www.ahopeforchildren.org)
We adopted our daughter from AHOPE in the fall of 2006 and the children at AHOPE are very much still in our minds and hearts.
Because AHOPE has a very limited budget for basic items like clothing, diapers, and toys, we depend on the generosity of individual donors for these things and on traveling adoptive parents to help deliver the donations. We realize that the adoption agencies also rely on traveling parents to transport supplies for their orphanages, and we do not wish to commandeer luggage space that the agencies depend on. But if any of you think you might still be able to squeeze some extra things in your baggage, we would be very grateful for your help.
Below is the list of items that are currently most needed.
In the past we have had people gather some things off of the list and carry them over on their adoption/volunteer trip. If you are willing/able to gather some of these supplies and are not traveling, I can put you in contact with someone traveling that is willing to carry stuff over.
And on the flip side, if you are traveling and have room, big or small, to carry over donations, but do not have time to gather them, let me know and I can put you in contact with someone with donations to send.
Every little bit helps...even a gallon-sized Ziplock bag of things would be appreciated. I have found that many dollar stores carry a lot of the medical items for $1 or less, and have heard from some families that Walgreens and other stores have been willing to donate items when asked.
Once in Addis, we can arrange for the items to be picked up from you at your hotel or you are more than welcome to deliver them yourself if you would like to visit the orphanage. You can contact me for more details.
The best way to contact me is at ahopesupplies@gmail.com
Thanks so much for your help and support.
list of needed items March 2007
Eye drops
Anti fungal for oral thrush
Benadryl for allergic reaction
De-worming agents taken orally
Oral Suspension Ibuprofen
Antiseptic and Pain reliever
Savlon Antiseptic
Benzalkonium Chloride towelette Antiseptic
Instant Hand sanitizer
Burn cream
Poison Ivy Cleanser
Povidone Iodine USP Prep Pad
Plasil drop
Infants Mylicon
Gloves
Digital thermometer
Bandage (roll)
Sterile dressing gauze (packed)
Cold compress (Hot compress).. Pack which is reusable
Cough syrups
Gas Relief
Hyopan (Hyosine Syrup)
Hyosine tablets
Cloxacillin 125 mg/5ml syrup
Cloxacillin 250 mg/5ml syrup
always needed
1. Cotton diapers
2. new/gently used kids shoes
3. kids' underwear and pj's (like sizes 6mos. to 12/14)
4. antibacterial lotion
5. rubber gloves
6. simple English books for the new library
7. balls, simple games/puzzles (that don't require language knowledge)
8. arts and crafts supplies
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Are we there yet?
Well it appears that week one in our wait to pick up Tariku has passed. Only 11ish more to go.
"When do you leave" seems to be the number one question followed closely by "How do you pronounce Tariku?" We have touched on this but I thought I would take a second to explain, as best as we know, how the process works.
We officially accepted our referral of Tariku on Friday. That means that our dossier has arrived in Ethiopia (or will shortly) and has been prepared and submitted to court for processing. Once the dossier has made it through the court process and the court approves our adoption of Tariku we should then be given a travel date. This is when we will go over to Ethiopia to pick him up and to go to the US Embassy and finalize all of the paperwork needed to take him home. Since the courts close by the end of July due to the rainy season, we assume we will know by then when we leave.
DONATIONS
Jen and I plan on filling one suitcase with donations for the care center as well as for AHOPE, an organization I think we have mentioned before. We have lists from both on the types of items they need. If any of you out there would like to help we can send you the list. We would be more than willing to pick any donations up as long as you are in the contiguous United States or in Iowa, which ever is a closer drive. Just send us a message by either clicking on the little envelop below this post or emailing us at krobzoo@mchsi.com. I am also including a link to AHOPE's website and a blog posting from the person here in the U.S. who handles donations. Thanks for any help you can provide.
Oh and we have heard from a family who was over there recently that Tariku is pronounced like Erik with a T.
AHOPE
http://transracial.adoptionblogs.com
*Almost forgot to mention that on Sunday we had a surprise visit. Our neighbor brought her sister-in-law, husband and baby Silas over. The Bottomlys went to Ethiopia in May to pick up baby Silas and were in Iowa visiting family. It was really neat to meet them and their son. The only downside was that it made me want to leave NOW and pick up Tariku. I know the wait will be worth it, but it still is going to seem like forever. That's it for now. I will have Jen post something beautiful and thought provoking next time. Her posts put mine to shame.
"When do you leave" seems to be the number one question followed closely by "How do you pronounce Tariku?" We have touched on this but I thought I would take a second to explain, as best as we know, how the process works.
We officially accepted our referral of Tariku on Friday. That means that our dossier has arrived in Ethiopia (or will shortly) and has been prepared and submitted to court for processing. Once the dossier has made it through the court process and the court approves our adoption of Tariku we should then be given a travel date. This is when we will go over to Ethiopia to pick him up and to go to the US Embassy and finalize all of the paperwork needed to take him home. Since the courts close by the end of July due to the rainy season, we assume we will know by then when we leave.
DONATIONS
Jen and I plan on filling one suitcase with donations for the care center as well as for AHOPE, an organization I think we have mentioned before. We have lists from both on the types of items they need. If any of you out there would like to help we can send you the list. We would be more than willing to pick any donations up as long as you are in the contiguous United States or in Iowa, which ever is a closer drive. Just send us a message by either clicking on the little envelop below this post or emailing us at krobzoo@mchsi.com. I am also including a link to AHOPE's website and a blog posting from the person here in the U.S. who handles donations. Thanks for any help you can provide.
Oh and we have heard from a family who was over there recently that Tariku is pronounced like Erik with a T.
AHOPE
http://transracial.adoptionblogs.com
*Almost forgot to mention that on Sunday we had a surprise visit. Our neighbor brought her sister-in-law, husband and baby Silas over. The Bottomlys went to Ethiopia in May to pick up baby Silas and were in Iowa visiting family. It was really neat to meet them and their son. The only downside was that it made me want to leave NOW and pick up Tariku. I know the wait will be worth it, but it still is going to seem like forever. That's it for now. I will have Jen post something beautiful and thought provoking next time. Her posts put mine to shame.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Tariku
Wow, it is amazing how you can love someone you don't know yet. Someone that has only been a dream and only has been a face for 36 hours. Really, truly, I love this little baby boy. I think about him so much, and what he is doing right now, what his temprement will be like.
Having a picture and just a little information on him has made this long wait end with such joy. He is going to be one of my children. I still cannot believe it. I just feel so blessed.
I pray for Tariku's family and the decisions they had to make, and the difficult life they have had to live. More difficult than many of us can even fathom.
I pray for Tariku and his health and happiness and growth until we can get there to pick him up.
I pray for our family to work through the challenges of bringing home another child.
So, the kids are excited. Annalise insists on calling him Benamin, (Benjamin) as she does all babies. And she really seems to be OK with bringing him home, as long as I call him Benamin. She can say Tarik very well too, but still wants to call him Benamin. Katie is eager to get to know him and Jack is excited to have a brother. He is 25 months younger than Annalise. Katie and Jack are 22 months apart and they really have fun together. So, I bet Anna and Tarik will be buddies. Katie is 5 1/2 years older than Anna and they have lots of fun together. Jack will be 5 1/2+ years older than Tarik, so I hope they also are able to have fun together. I guess I am just trying to put it all into perspective.
Also, I think Tariku will have so much fun with his cousins. And can you believe that there are 4 cousins within 7 weeks of age?! That is amazing. They are going to be such pals.
8-12 weeks to travel - I think that puts us between August 10 and Sept 7. I really think August will be here fast. It is summer and we have several things going on, so I imagine it will go quickly. (that is my attempt at a positive attitude). The kids go back to school on August 20, I think. So, I just have a bad feeling we will miss the first day of school.
OK, that is it for tonight, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts since Gary has posted the last couple times.
Having a picture and just a little information on him has made this long wait end with such joy. He is going to be one of my children. I still cannot believe it. I just feel so blessed.
I pray for Tariku's family and the decisions they had to make, and the difficult life they have had to live. More difficult than many of us can even fathom.
I pray for Tariku and his health and happiness and growth until we can get there to pick him up.
I pray for our family to work through the challenges of bringing home another child.
So, the kids are excited. Annalise insists on calling him Benamin, (Benjamin) as she does all babies. And she really seems to be OK with bringing him home, as long as I call him Benamin. She can say Tarik very well too, but still wants to call him Benamin. Katie is eager to get to know him and Jack is excited to have a brother. He is 25 months younger than Annalise. Katie and Jack are 22 months apart and they really have fun together. So, I bet Anna and Tarik will be buddies. Katie is 5 1/2 years older than Anna and they have lots of fun together. Jack will be 5 1/2+ years older than Tarik, so I hope they also are able to have fun together. I guess I am just trying to put it all into perspective.
Also, I think Tariku will have so much fun with his cousins. And can you believe that there are 4 cousins within 7 weeks of age?! That is amazing. They are going to be such pals.
8-12 weeks to travel - I think that puts us between August 10 and Sept 7. I really think August will be here fast. It is summer and we have several things going on, so I imagine it will go quickly. (that is my attempt at a positive attitude). The kids go back to school on August 20, I think. So, I just have a bad feeling we will miss the first day of school.
OK, that is it for tonight, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts since Gary has posted the last couple times.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
IT'S A BOY!!!!!!
Well we have had some news and it makes for a fantastic birthday gift.
I had been checking messages all day yesterday and was getting a little depressed since there was a bit of activity on the message boards. Three people ahead of us had gotten the call mid afternoon and I was so sure we would be next, but there was no call. I went out for drinks after work, tried to call Jen and let her know about the other referrals and also tried to forget about everything for a while. Around 6:30 or so things broke up and I finally was able to get a hold of Jen. We were happy for everyone on the boards but a little sad, trying to stay optimistic. I hung up the phone and decided to call home one more time and check the machine. Keep in mind I am currently 10 minutes away and could have waited. And there it was, THE MESSAGE from Angela to call her back. I quickly called Jen again who was still on the road coming back from Iowa City, she said to hang up immediately and call Angela back without her. I did just that.
Our son's name is Tariku Adnew, he was born April 30, 2007 making him 6 weeks old right now. He weighed 6.75 lbs and was 19.5 inches long when he was brought into the care center on May 31st. We have not received all of the paperwork yet because our Internet was down last night. When I got it fixed I tried to get a hold of Angela so she could send it, but she was gone for the night.
We are not supposed to post pictures on the internet until the case has made it through court and the child is legally ours. This is at the request of the ET government. We will of course e-mail the pictures to family and friends as soon as we can. I am sure there is more to say but I am emotionally exhausted right now and just want to see my son. Only 12 weeks to go until we can. Damn, and I thought the referral wait was hard.
I had been checking messages all day yesterday and was getting a little depressed since there was a bit of activity on the message boards. Three people ahead of us had gotten the call mid afternoon and I was so sure we would be next, but there was no call. I went out for drinks after work, tried to call Jen and let her know about the other referrals and also tried to forget about everything for a while. Around 6:30 or so things broke up and I finally was able to get a hold of Jen. We were happy for everyone on the boards but a little sad, trying to stay optimistic. I hung up the phone and decided to call home one more time and check the machine. Keep in mind I am currently 10 minutes away and could have waited. And there it was, THE MESSAGE from Angela to call her back. I quickly called Jen again who was still on the road coming back from Iowa City, she said to hang up immediately and call Angela back without her. I did just that.
Our son's name is Tariku Adnew, he was born April 30, 2007 making him 6 weeks old right now. He weighed 6.75 lbs and was 19.5 inches long when he was brought into the care center on May 31st. We have not received all of the paperwork yet because our Internet was down last night. When I got it fixed I tried to get a hold of Angela so she could send it, but she was gone for the night.
We are not supposed to post pictures on the internet until the case has made it through court and the child is legally ours. This is at the request of the ET government. We will of course e-mail the pictures to family and friends as soon as we can. I am sure there is more to say but I am emotionally exhausted right now and just want to see my son. Only 12 weeks to go until we can. Damn, and I thought the referral wait was hard.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
And then there was one
Well the last of Jen's sisters had her baby yesterday. Laura gave birth to Lucille Helen around 2:47pm in high paced style we do so well in the family. Jen and the kids are going to visit them today while I am at work. I should be able to post a picture sometime soon.
So that leaves just one baby left to arrive, ours. There was of course no news on the boards yesterday and with 3 days to go things are getting a little tense. On the plus side I fixed the garage door opener, I was able to get a good night's sleep and I am going out after work this afternoon for some drinks to celebrate my B-Day tomorrow. Things are looking up, and I feel good about today. (Of course I have "felt good" about other days but who's counting.) Enjoy the day, congrats Laura and Mark, and welcome baby Lucy.
Also, wanted to share a picture from Jackson's kindergarten graduation. What a handsome little man.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
And the clock keeps ticking...
I had planned on writing a quick note at the end of each day this week just to keep everyone informed on what I am calling "Hell Week." Yesterday sucked! Not sure if this waiting had anything to do with it but I was just grouchy all day, I had a hard time concentrating on anything. Last night Annie was in bed with us and woke up crying around 1:30. Jen got her a drink and the two of them fell back asleep. I was awake for the next two hours and finally fell back asleep on the couch downstairs. Now I am tired, grouchy, and at work. Jen just called to say that the garage door won't go down. She doesn't know what to do so I am going to have to go back home in a little bit and fix it. Did I mention I am tired and grouchy? Oh and before I forget, there was no news yesterday.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
This is SO hard
OK, it has been a really hard week. I am thinking about this little baby all the time and really want to know what he looks like and feels like and smells like. All that baby stuff. I just want to get a call so bad!
There has been no movement on referrals this week. There were 7 people that posts on the adoption agency's forum with travel dates today. Gary is guessing that is good. It means those babies and children are getting through the court process and then they can start on the next group of children who are waiting for a family.
Gary did send an email to our social worker on Monday and she forwarded it on to one of the head people over the Ethiopian program at the agency. No promises, but she said they were waiting for referrals from Ethiopia and she was really hopeful for our family. NOW, would she say that if she suspected it was unlikely we would have a baby before the deadline???? I would hope not. I am considering that a good sign. Also there were two other little things that might be good signs. Maybe Gary and I are reading too much in to it... A couple weeks ago a check we wrote in December for some fee to Ethiopia was cashed. Then last week there was a note on the checklist (that the agency updates for us online)that our dossier was sent to Ethiopia. Seems like something is happening... Or the other thought is somehow our paperwork was misplaced for the last 5 months. HAHAHA - I will try to not think about that possibility.
It has also been a good week. The kids are out of school (need to post a picture of Jack in his cap from his Kindergarten graduation). So starting this week, I am working 4 - 9 hour days and then a 1/2 day from home on Wednesday. It is working out wonderfully so far. The kids and I had a great time Wednesday afternoon, made cookies, played outside, went to the library. I think it will work out nicely. Gary is also working 4 - 9 hour days with a half day on Fridays, so they get even more time home with him.
There has been no movement on referrals this week. There were 7 people that posts on the adoption agency's forum with travel dates today. Gary is guessing that is good. It means those babies and children are getting through the court process and then they can start on the next group of children who are waiting for a family.
Gary did send an email to our social worker on Monday and she forwarded it on to one of the head people over the Ethiopian program at the agency. No promises, but she said they were waiting for referrals from Ethiopia and she was really hopeful for our family. NOW, would she say that if she suspected it was unlikely we would have a baby before the deadline???? I would hope not. I am considering that a good sign. Also there were two other little things that might be good signs. Maybe Gary and I are reading too much in to it... A couple weeks ago a check we wrote in December for some fee to Ethiopia was cashed. Then last week there was a note on the checklist (that the agency updates for us online)that our dossier was sent to Ethiopia. Seems like something is happening... Or the other thought is somehow our paperwork was misplaced for the last 5 months. HAHAHA - I will try to not think about that possibility.
It has also been a good week. The kids are out of school (need to post a picture of Jack in his cap from his Kindergarten graduation). So starting this week, I am working 4 - 9 hour days and then a 1/2 day from home on Wednesday. It is working out wonderfully so far. The kids and I had a great time Wednesday afternoon, made cookies, played outside, went to the library. I think it will work out nicely. Gary is also working 4 - 9 hour days with a half day on Fridays, so they get even more time home with him.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
I'm an aunt
Sarah and Adam welcomed a baby boy last Friday. Alexander Quinn. He looks alot like his big brother from first pictures. Those cheeks. :) What a cutie! We can't wait to see him, though we will have to wait for a bit. :(
2 down, 2 to go. Laura's due date was 2 days ago. Should be soon (maybe, unless this little one is like my Katie, who had to be forced out 1 1/2 weeks after her due date).
And the 6/15 cutoff is looming. And there has not been any progress since last week. It is hard not to think about it ALL the time!
Also on the last posting, the article on the NY Times. I got it from someone else's blog and thought it was really good. CHSFS is our agency and they had lots of good comments in there. It is long, but explains the process fairly well.
Hoping and Praying for good news soon!
Monday, June 04, 2007
NYT article about adoption from Ethiopia
In Ethiopia, Open Doors for Foreign Adoptions
By JANE GROSS and WILL CONNORS
Published: June 4, 2007
ST. PAUL — Ethiopia was not on Mark and Vera Westrum-Ostrom’s list when they first visited Children’s Home Society & Family Services here to explore an international adoption.
From Ethiopia to Minnesota Ukraine was first, because of their family heritage, until the couple discovered that the adoption system there was chaotic, with inaccurate information about orphans’ health and availability.
Vietnam was second, after they saw videos of well-run orphanages. But the wait would be at least a year and a half.
Then they learned about Ethiopia’s model centers for orphans, run by American agencies, with an efficient adoption system that made it possible for them to file paperwork on Labor Day and claim 2-year-old Tariku, a boy with almond eyes and a halo of ringlets, at Christmas.
From Addis Ababa, the capital city, they traveled to the countryside to meet the boy’s birth mother, an opportunity rare in international adoption. And at roughly $20,000, the process was affordable compared with other foreign adoptions, and free of the bribes that are common in some countries.
It is no wonder, given these advantages, that Ethiopia, a country more often associated by Americans with drought, famine and conflict, has become a hot spot for international adoption. Even before the actress Angelina Jolie put adoption in Ethiopia on the cover of People magazine in 2005, the number of adoptions there by Americans was growing. The total is still small — 732 children in 2006, out of a total of 20,632 foreign adoptions, but it is a steep increase, up from 82 children adopted in 1997.
Ethiopia now ranks 5th among countries for adoption by Americans, up from 16th in 2000. In the same period, the number of American agencies licensed to operate there has grown from one to 22.
The increasing interest in Ethiopia comes at a time when the leading countries for international adoption, China, Guatemala and Russia are, respectively, tightening eligibility requirements, under scrutiny for adoption corruption and closing borders to American agencies.
Ethiopia’s sudden popularity also comes with risks, say government officials there and in America.
“I don’t think we’ll be able to handle it,” said Haddush Halefom, an official at the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, which oversees adoption. “We don’t have the capacity to handle all these new agencies, and we have to monitor the quality, not just the quantity.”
Capping the number of agencies is one solution. And that is what some international adoption officials in the United States are now urging the Ethiopian government to do.
Of concern is the ability of agencies to handle the rising demand, which may have contributed to a recent mix-up involving two families sent home with the wrong children by Christian World Adoption, an established agency, although relatively new to Ethiopia. That case prompted inquiries by the State Department and the nonprofit Joint Council on International Children’s Services in Virginia, a child welfare and advocacy organization, and the adoption agency itself, said Thomas DiFilipo, president of the joint council.
Officials at Christian World Adoption did not reply to e-mail messages or telephone calls. But Mr. DiFilipo said the agency was reviewing its procedures and has hired immigration lawyers to resolve the mix-up.
The consensus, Mr. DiFilipo said, is that the mix-up was “an honest mistake.” But, he added, “This could be the byproduct of a staff handling 35 placements when they’re used to handling 20.”
Children’s Home Society & Family Services, founded in 1889, began working in Ethiopia in 2004. The agency completed about 300 adoptions in its first three years in Ethiopia, and expects to complete that many in 2007 alone. Along with Wide Horizons For Children in Waltham, Mass., the society is credited with helping Ethiopia create a model for international adoption.
Ethiopia, with a population of 76 million, has an estimated 5 million children who have lost one or both parents, according to aid organizations. Many African nations have outlawed or impeded the adoption of their children by foreigners. Ethiopia has welcomed American and European families who are willing to provide homes for children who have lost both parents to AIDS, malaria, tuberculosis or starvation, or who come from families too destitute to feed and clothe them. (The adoption process includes routine screening for HIV infection.)
Two elements distinguish Ethiopia’s adoption system, according to dozens of experts. One is the existence of transitional homes for orphans, in the countryside and in the capital, with services and staffing that are rare in the developing world — paid for by American agencies.
Not long ago, Sandra Iverson, a nurse practitioner from the University of Minnesota’s international adoption health clinic, the first of its kind in the United States, was invited to visit the Children’s Home Society’s Ethiopian centers.
She arrived with a neonatal otoscope, to diagnose ear infections; the Red Book, the bible of pediatrics; and scarce antibiotics. She left confident that Ethiopia’s orphans enjoyed unusual care.
“You don’t hear crying babies,” Ms. Iverson said. “They are picked up immediately.”
The other signature of the Ethiopian system is that adopting families are encouraged to meet birth families and visit the villages where the children were raised, a cutting-edge practice in adoptions. Some agencies provide DVDs or photographs that document the children’s past.
Russ and Ann Couwenhoven, in Ham Lake, Minn., recently showed one such video to 6-year-old Tariku, one of three children they have adopted from Ethiopia. The boy seemed proud of the beautifully painted house he had lived in, they said, and the uncle who had sheltered him for as long as he could.
Linda Zwicky brought 2-year-old Amale home five days before the Memorial Day weekend, with a letter from the child’s grandmother that described holding the motherless infant at her breast even though she had no milk. Sometimes such vividness is too much. Melanie Danke and her husband, of Minneapolis, adopted 6-year-old twins and a 3-year-old, all siblings. One of the twins “would work herself up until she was inconsolable” looking at photos of the aunt and grandmother who raised her, Ms. Danke said. So she has tucked the photos away for now.
David Pilgrim, vice president of adoption services at the Children’s Home Society, said the agency spends $2 million a year on its Ethiopian facilities.
At the main transitional home, on the outskirts of Addis Ababa, a staff of 170 care for about 120 children, ensuring that the children have consistent contact with adults, which experts say mitigates the most damaging psychological effects of institutionalization.
During a reporter’s recent visit, the two terra-cotta buildings where the children live, usually for no more than a few months, were spotless, with staff members scurrying to pick up toys and food spills as they hit the floor.
The transitional home has a primary school, open also to local students, where the children begin learning English. There is a medical clinic with two full-time doctors and 10 nurses. Down the road is a guest house for adoptive parents, who also can stay in a sleek hotel.
The children also enjoy the services of a “laugh therapist,” Belachu Girma.
“These kids come here and are very depressed at first, all with their heads down and not talking,” Mr. Girma said. “I come in and try to help them relax.”
There was laughter also at the nearby guest house, more of the nervous kind, as American parents waited to take their children back to St. Paul from the Horn of Africa.
Araminta and Jason Montague, from Atlanta, who picked up 17-month-old Natan last week, compared their experience in Ethiopia to an earlier adoption of a girl from China (where Americans adopted 6,493 children in 2006).
“Our daughter was in an orphanage with about 300 children and she was very dehydrated,” Ms. Montague said. “We were never told her origins. Her sheet just said ‘Status: Abandoned.’ ”
Some parents anguished, as did Karla Suomala of Decorah, Iowa, when she arrived in Addis Ababa to adopt 5-year-old Dawit and his 21-month-old sister Meheret.
“It’s hard to know what the right thing is to do,” Ms. Suomala said. “Should we just give all the money we’re spending on this to the children’s mother?” Ms. Suomala and her husband, David Vasquez, had already spent time with her.
“It was obvious the birth mother loved her children,” Mr. Vasquez said. “She said to us, ‘Thank you for sharing my burden.’ ”
Alessandro Conticini, the head of child protection at Unicef Ethiopia, is one of many who believe that international adoption is a good thing but must be “part of a larger strategy” that focuses on keeping children in their families or communities, with the help of humanitarian organizations.
Indeed, the Ethiopian government has taken the unusual step of requiring foreign agencies to provide social services and document the results. As a result, agencies like Children’s Home Society and Wide Horizons have built schools and medical facilities — including one for HIV-infected children.
But Mr. Conticini, of Unicef, worries about the mushrooming number of private adoption companies that “are not properly regulated by the government” because two different ministries are involved and working at cross purposes.
At the State Department, visa applications for children adopted from Ethiopia are getting extra attention, said Catherine M. Barry, deputy assistant secretary for overseas citizens services. “We will very quickly see if patterns are emerging,” she said, “and we will intervene in a timely fashion with anyone doing less than quality work.”
While the governments collaborate to protect a delicate adoption system from the perils of growth, adoptive families arrive each week in Addis Ababa to ease their children into new lives.
Last week, these included Mr. Vasquez and Ms. Suomala. While she had no trouble escorting Meheret from the orphanage, Dawit refused to budge, so Mr. Vasquez carried him toward the gate.
There, the child grabbed the bars and would not let go. Mr. Vasquez considered prying his hands loose and thought better of it. Instead he told Dawit that it was O.K. to cry.
Jane Gross reported from St. Paul, and Will Connors from Addis Ababa.
By JANE GROSS and WILL CONNORS
Published: June 4, 2007
ST. PAUL — Ethiopia was not on Mark and Vera Westrum-Ostrom’s list when they first visited Children’s Home Society & Family Services here to explore an international adoption.
From Ethiopia to Minnesota Ukraine was first, because of their family heritage, until the couple discovered that the adoption system there was chaotic, with inaccurate information about orphans’ health and availability.
Vietnam was second, after they saw videos of well-run orphanages. But the wait would be at least a year and a half.
Then they learned about Ethiopia’s model centers for orphans, run by American agencies, with an efficient adoption system that made it possible for them to file paperwork on Labor Day and claim 2-year-old Tariku, a boy with almond eyes and a halo of ringlets, at Christmas.
From Addis Ababa, the capital city, they traveled to the countryside to meet the boy’s birth mother, an opportunity rare in international adoption. And at roughly $20,000, the process was affordable compared with other foreign adoptions, and free of the bribes that are common in some countries.
It is no wonder, given these advantages, that Ethiopia, a country more often associated by Americans with drought, famine and conflict, has become a hot spot for international adoption. Even before the actress Angelina Jolie put adoption in Ethiopia on the cover of People magazine in 2005, the number of adoptions there by Americans was growing. The total is still small — 732 children in 2006, out of a total of 20,632 foreign adoptions, but it is a steep increase, up from 82 children adopted in 1997.
Ethiopia now ranks 5th among countries for adoption by Americans, up from 16th in 2000. In the same period, the number of American agencies licensed to operate there has grown from one to 22.
The increasing interest in Ethiopia comes at a time when the leading countries for international adoption, China, Guatemala and Russia are, respectively, tightening eligibility requirements, under scrutiny for adoption corruption and closing borders to American agencies.
Ethiopia’s sudden popularity also comes with risks, say government officials there and in America.
“I don’t think we’ll be able to handle it,” said Haddush Halefom, an official at the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, which oversees adoption. “We don’t have the capacity to handle all these new agencies, and we have to monitor the quality, not just the quantity.”
Capping the number of agencies is one solution. And that is what some international adoption officials in the United States are now urging the Ethiopian government to do.
Of concern is the ability of agencies to handle the rising demand, which may have contributed to a recent mix-up involving two families sent home with the wrong children by Christian World Adoption, an established agency, although relatively new to Ethiopia. That case prompted inquiries by the State Department and the nonprofit Joint Council on International Children’s Services in Virginia, a child welfare and advocacy organization, and the adoption agency itself, said Thomas DiFilipo, president of the joint council.
Officials at Christian World Adoption did not reply to e-mail messages or telephone calls. But Mr. DiFilipo said the agency was reviewing its procedures and has hired immigration lawyers to resolve the mix-up.
The consensus, Mr. DiFilipo said, is that the mix-up was “an honest mistake.” But, he added, “This could be the byproduct of a staff handling 35 placements when they’re used to handling 20.”
Children’s Home Society & Family Services, founded in 1889, began working in Ethiopia in 2004. The agency completed about 300 adoptions in its first three years in Ethiopia, and expects to complete that many in 2007 alone. Along with Wide Horizons For Children in Waltham, Mass., the society is credited with helping Ethiopia create a model for international adoption.
Ethiopia, with a population of 76 million, has an estimated 5 million children who have lost one or both parents, according to aid organizations. Many African nations have outlawed or impeded the adoption of their children by foreigners. Ethiopia has welcomed American and European families who are willing to provide homes for children who have lost both parents to AIDS, malaria, tuberculosis or starvation, or who come from families too destitute to feed and clothe them. (The adoption process includes routine screening for HIV infection.)
Two elements distinguish Ethiopia’s adoption system, according to dozens of experts. One is the existence of transitional homes for orphans, in the countryside and in the capital, with services and staffing that are rare in the developing world — paid for by American agencies.
Not long ago, Sandra Iverson, a nurse practitioner from the University of Minnesota’s international adoption health clinic, the first of its kind in the United States, was invited to visit the Children’s Home Society’s Ethiopian centers.
She arrived with a neonatal otoscope, to diagnose ear infections; the Red Book, the bible of pediatrics; and scarce antibiotics. She left confident that Ethiopia’s orphans enjoyed unusual care.
“You don’t hear crying babies,” Ms. Iverson said. “They are picked up immediately.”
The other signature of the Ethiopian system is that adopting families are encouraged to meet birth families and visit the villages where the children were raised, a cutting-edge practice in adoptions. Some agencies provide DVDs or photographs that document the children’s past.
Russ and Ann Couwenhoven, in Ham Lake, Minn., recently showed one such video to 6-year-old Tariku, one of three children they have adopted from Ethiopia. The boy seemed proud of the beautifully painted house he had lived in, they said, and the uncle who had sheltered him for as long as he could.
Linda Zwicky brought 2-year-old Amale home five days before the Memorial Day weekend, with a letter from the child’s grandmother that described holding the motherless infant at her breast even though she had no milk. Sometimes such vividness is too much. Melanie Danke and her husband, of Minneapolis, adopted 6-year-old twins and a 3-year-old, all siblings. One of the twins “would work herself up until she was inconsolable” looking at photos of the aunt and grandmother who raised her, Ms. Danke said. So she has tucked the photos away for now.
David Pilgrim, vice president of adoption services at the Children’s Home Society, said the agency spends $2 million a year on its Ethiopian facilities.
At the main transitional home, on the outskirts of Addis Ababa, a staff of 170 care for about 120 children, ensuring that the children have consistent contact with adults, which experts say mitigates the most damaging psychological effects of institutionalization.
During a reporter’s recent visit, the two terra-cotta buildings where the children live, usually for no more than a few months, were spotless, with staff members scurrying to pick up toys and food spills as they hit the floor.
The transitional home has a primary school, open also to local students, where the children begin learning English. There is a medical clinic with two full-time doctors and 10 nurses. Down the road is a guest house for adoptive parents, who also can stay in a sleek hotel.
The children also enjoy the services of a “laugh therapist,” Belachu Girma.
“These kids come here and are very depressed at first, all with their heads down and not talking,” Mr. Girma said. “I come in and try to help them relax.”
There was laughter also at the nearby guest house, more of the nervous kind, as American parents waited to take their children back to St. Paul from the Horn of Africa.
Araminta and Jason Montague, from Atlanta, who picked up 17-month-old Natan last week, compared their experience in Ethiopia to an earlier adoption of a girl from China (where Americans adopted 6,493 children in 2006).
“Our daughter was in an orphanage with about 300 children and she was very dehydrated,” Ms. Montague said. “We were never told her origins. Her sheet just said ‘Status: Abandoned.’ ”
Some parents anguished, as did Karla Suomala of Decorah, Iowa, when she arrived in Addis Ababa to adopt 5-year-old Dawit and his 21-month-old sister Meheret.
“It’s hard to know what the right thing is to do,” Ms. Suomala said. “Should we just give all the money we’re spending on this to the children’s mother?” Ms. Suomala and her husband, David Vasquez, had already spent time with her.
“It was obvious the birth mother loved her children,” Mr. Vasquez said. “She said to us, ‘Thank you for sharing my burden.’ ”
Alessandro Conticini, the head of child protection at Unicef Ethiopia, is one of many who believe that international adoption is a good thing but must be “part of a larger strategy” that focuses on keeping children in their families or communities, with the help of humanitarian organizations.
Indeed, the Ethiopian government has taken the unusual step of requiring foreign agencies to provide social services and document the results. As a result, agencies like Children’s Home Society and Wide Horizons have built schools and medical facilities — including one for HIV-infected children.
But Mr. Conticini, of Unicef, worries about the mushrooming number of private adoption companies that “are not properly regulated by the government” because two different ministries are involved and working at cross purposes.
At the State Department, visa applications for children adopted from Ethiopia are getting extra attention, said Catherine M. Barry, deputy assistant secretary for overseas citizens services. “We will very quickly see if patterns are emerging,” she said, “and we will intervene in a timely fashion with anyone doing less than quality work.”
While the governments collaborate to protect a delicate adoption system from the perils of growth, adoptive families arrive each week in Addis Ababa to ease their children into new lives.
Last week, these included Mr. Vasquez and Ms. Suomala. While she had no trouble escorting Meheret from the orphanage, Dawit refused to budge, so Mr. Vasquez carried him toward the gate.
There, the child grabbed the bars and would not let go. Mr. Vasquez considered prying his hands loose and thought better of it. Instead he told Dawit that it was O.K. to cry.
Jane Gross reported from St. Paul, and Will Connors from Addis Ababa.
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